Looking for love but finding losers

Ok, so I am all about love but why is it when I am looking for love, I only seem to find losers? I look at all these loving couples and think, why can’t I just find a normal guy?? My last boyfriend was a tranny obsessed control freak who had problems displaying intimacy, trust, and loyalty and still loved his ex girlfriend. Geez, talk about a doozy!  I honestly don’t even know how I am dating after that one! Ok, I can laugh now, but when I keep meeting losers it so hard for me to “keep hope alive” for the right guy. I don’t remember dating being this hard in my 20’s, but then again we didn’t have social media, tinder, and free porn at our fingertips. Not to mention in our 20’s we had a fresh mind and were willing to give love a try because we hadn’t been hurt and we were just trying to figure out loves ourselves. In your 30’s, its the complete opposite. Everyone has either been in a bad relationship that screwed them over for the future, is too focused on their career to even give love a chance, or they are just so emotionally unavailable that they think they want a relationship but don’t want to put forth the work to make it work. Sigh. I do believe there is someone out there for everyone but geez, no more losers for me, ok? Thanks in advance. I’d love to hear some of you love stories. No offense, but please don’t comment with gushy stories about how you met the love of your life in Paris and he took you to Bora Bora to propose. Unless you’re sharing him, I don’t want to hear it! Ok, I’m kidding (maybe), I’m always open for a little bit of encouragement.

Gray Hair Blues, What to do with Gray Hairs

So, I must admit, I have gray hair. I don’t really know how to feel about it. I’m over dying my hair, mainly because every time I go to a salon they always want to make my hair reddish-brown when I have an ashy brown color 😦 It’s so hard to find something that matches my natural shade and I love my natural shade because I think its unique. I would love to have light hair but I really dislike how my dark roots start to appear after a few weeks of getting color.  I’ve been told that I don’t look my age, but I really want to get the opinion of others. Does gray hair make you look older? Some people say that gray hair means you have wisdom, and boy have I gained a lot of that in the last 30ish years! The irony and whats funny to me is that gray is the new hair color trend.  I guess the difference is that I have a few (OK, several) grays while the trend is all over gray.

I wonder if guys judge women with gray hair more harshly than they do women with no gray hair. I think I am at a point in my life where I should just embrace the gray, but the other part of me hates when people feel the need to point it out all the time. I would love to get the opinion of men, women who have gray hair and dye it, and the women who rock their grays proudly.

Your Awkward 30s Explained

Ever wonder why you feel awkward being in your thirties? When thirty is near you feel like you are not quite ready to let go of your twenties, but have no choice. I think I finally realized why 30 is such an awkward age, because its right between 20 and 40!  Your twenties are all about having fun and learning about yourself while by forty you should have a good understanding of yourself, be settled into your life, family and career. But where does that leave the 30 somethings of the world? Right in the middle. By your thirties, you should have a great understanding of who you are (about 60-70% there) but its OK to still be in the mode where you are not quite sure. As far as career goes, you should be settling into long-term career goals. In your twenties, you are probably just graduating college and the whole world is your oyster but by your 30s, you should have a solid 5-8 years of work experience and should know where you want to be in your career.

In your twenties, everyone is thinking about maintaining friendships, having fun, and figuring out what works and doesn’t in a relationship. By forty, you have a set group of friends, colleagues, and already know what works and what doesn’t work in a relationship. In your forties, you are raising kids and working on your current or 2nd marriage. In your thirties, you have a good group of friends but are open to adding more. You are all about networking and growing your social and professional circles. You are probably in a mid level career but are always looking for opportunities to advance. As far as relationships are concerned, you’ve probably had at least one good one and some bad ones as well. You probably have a good understanding of what works, but are still struggling with issues that don’t work. You have friends that are in long-term relationships, married (with or without kids), and that are single and looking.

The thirties can be a confusing age because you have almost figured out your place in the world but still have some uncertainties and its OK. People in their thirties tend to feel “old” because they just finished their twenties and the same things they used to do in their twenties don’t appeal to them as much. Thirty somethings interests are heightened and they are willing to explore. They have a better understanding than the twenty somethings of what a balanced life is all about. Thirty somethings are more aware of their responsibilities as adults and either embrace them or dread them.

Its 2015…duh!

Welp, its 2015, and we are 9 days in. Hows life going for you so far? 2015 marks the years that I will be 32. Good-bye 30 and 31, and hello 32! I can honestly say I was a bit nervous bringing in the new year. Why? Well a lot of things were uncertain for me. Between my job, my relationship, my apartment, and, well, just life, I was a little bit frazzled. But what can you do? You can’t stop time, you can only move forward and takes things one day at a time. Someone once told me when I was 19 that I can’t plan out my future. I thought she was absolutely crazy. What the hell did she mean, I can’t plan out my future. By 25, I thought I’d have a good job, be at least engaged, living with my boyfriend/fiance, with our cute little dog and maybe talking about kids. My ideal life at 25 was like this pinterest world of wonderfulness. When I hit 25 and none of that came to pass I wasn’t disappointed, but at 28, I finally got what she meant. While you have this glorious picture of what things could be like, there is no telling what the future holds. At 25, I was single, had a baby, and was in between jobs, hahaha go figure. So much for my pinterest dream life…right? One thing I did learn was just because everything hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean it wont. Maybe it just wasn’t the right time, maybe I haven’t met the right person because I wasn’t ready, maybe that dream job where I lay on the beach is closer than that I know (hahaha, hey it could happen). At 31.75 years old I haven’t lost hope of having that dream life. Another thing I learned was patients. Not everything is going to happen when you want it or how you want it, but if you want it and work towards it, it will eventually happen. I’ve had good and bad things (and people) come and go, but the most important lesson is learning from it. Be better not bitter because bitter leaves you with nothing but misery and unhappiness. If you started out this year feeling the same way I did, don’t. We are only 9 days in with 355ish days to go!  I look forward to keeping this blog going and talking about my life as a woman in her 30s!

Until next time.